You Adopted a Dog — Did You Make A Mistake?

I’ve owned, loved and cared for dogs for over 30 years, and I want to help you form and have the same special relationship with your pup that I’ve had with all of mine. And that includes dealing with the problems that occasionally crop up that leave you wondering “am I the only one with this problem” – no you are not.

Let’s talk. But first, know this. If you surrender your dog to a shelter that’s run by your city or county, know that this kind of shelter is a kill shelter, because that’s the only way they can manage their intake population, and that less than 10% of the dogs walk out alive. The chances of your dog being saved by a rescue or adoption is less than one in ten. So take a look at your pup and ask yourself, if you can live with those odds.

So, you’ve adopted a dog, or a puppy, and now after several weeks or possibly months, you’re seriously wondering if you’ve made a mistake. The pup’s behavior is not what you expected, and is causing disappointment, friction with those you love and possibly your neighbors or landlord, resulting in stress and losing sleep. You’re wondering, ‘what am I doing wrong’, ‘what’s wrong with the dog’. And as a result, you’re seriously considering returning or surrendering the pup to a shelter.

What Were Your Expectations

When you adopted your pup, what were your expectations. You know it’s very easy to be caught in that YouTube/Instagram trap where you see all these beautiful photos and videos of happy people and gorgeous, well-behaved, playful dogs of all ages, all breeds, and everybody’s happy. And then you look at your situation, and it’s nothing like what you just watched on your iPhone. Your dog can be out of control, barking, tearing through the house, eliminating on the floor or carpet, chewing on items.

Or, the exact opposite. It’s scared to death, and hiding, not eating, not playing with the toys you bought or your children. In other words, you’re thinking the dog’s a total dud. Or, the pup is somewhere in between. It behaves in the house, but becomes Cujo when you go for a walk or take it out in public. Does this sound like your situation?

So what can I do to help you. What can my community of subscribers and readers do to help you, to walk you off that ledge of possibly giving up what might be the best pal you’ll ever have.

First, realize that you are not alone. Adopting a dog is similar to having a child, adopting a puppy is similar to having a baby. Make no mistake about this. I can’t emphasize enough that dogs are more similar to humans than we think. They have distinctive personalities, emotions and feelings. And, like humans, they are also products of their environment, and to a certain extent, genetics.

Adopting From A Shelter Has Its Own Set of Challenges

If you’ve adopted a pup from a shelter or a rescue, realize that the pup brings baggage with it. Sometimes it’s emotions of abandonment, cruelty or neglect, or an owner dies, and the pup is suddenly homeless after 8, 10, 15 years. The pup shuts down, or acts out from confusion, fear, afraid to trust again. Other pups never had a home, a warm bed, a regular meal because they were strays. And if you’re having behavioral issues with your pup, did you know that according to a recent study of owner surrender dogs, 96% of surrendered pups never received any training at all.

The two key areas of dog ownership where you should never skimp is 1) training and 2) food. Like with us humans, the care and teaching that you put into your children equates to the same results when you care for and teach your dog. Training your dog is NOT a DIY binge watching of Victoria Stilwell or Cesar Milan videos. You need the help of a professional who is skilled in your dog’s issues. One size does not fit all. And if your dog is already in training, are you practicing each day what the trainer is teaching you and your dog. The key is to not get discouraged.

Secondly, so many, many dog owners are into only reward-based, positive training, because that’s what they’ve read online or their friends/family tell them. And yet there are so many tools out there, that in the hands of a knowledgeable, experienced trainer, can work wonders for you and your dog.

Keep in mind that the training techniques that work for a snappy, fussy Chihuahua, should be different from an escape-artist, loves to dig Beagle, or a strong, smart, pull you off your feet Belgian Malinois. If you are making the effort with training, and it doesn’t seem to be working, don’t be afraid to seek out another trainer.

And if your dog’s behavioral issues are not physical, for example, leash pulling, dog/people reactive, but rather psychological and emotional, then you’re going to need a great deal of patience and again, outreach to a professional for help, and/or research and outreach to online groups who have pups with similar problems.

Psychological/emotional issues are, in my opinion, the most difficult to deal with because issues cannot be resolved in a few weeks. Sometimes it takes months and months and requires a full commitment from you, and/or your family. Ophelia is my problem child, afraid of almost everything, and highly reactive because of how she was raised the first five years of her life. I truly believe that had she been adopted by someone else with limited or no GSD experience, she would have been euthanized by now.

So if you are second-guessing your decision having adopted a pup and whether to keep it, please do not make a hasty, impulsive decision. Remember that what you see in the videos are the dogs when they’re on their best behavior and the cutest. People will rarely show you videos of when their dog misbehaves, gets sick on the carpet, tracks muddy paws on your floor then jumps onto the furniture, or chews the furniture.

Remember, once you surrender your pup to a shelter, there is no going back. And less than one in ten walk out alive. Do not make a decision impulsively, but think carefully.

If you’re having issues, email me at thepupmommy@comcast.net. For me, it’s all about the dog and helping the dog through helping you.